Bugs — I call them lurgies
Having been in the DNet for some time I have not had any bugs on me but have suffered with them to various degrees in the past and will outline various levels of problems I suffered.
Prior to the DNet but in more recent times I had become aware that things, lurgies or bugs can attach themselves to you and cause problems. We could consider these ghosts or in any event something we do not understand. Because I had become aware of them from past experience I would realize that one was on me quite quickly. The symptom was fear or anxiety which suddenly you notice you feel. You consider what the cause is for a moment. You are thinking something’s wrong, have I forgot I am frying something in the kitchen and think it might now be on fire. That low level of fear as your body adjusts to spring into action and get to the kitchen. Fairly quickly you realize there is nothing you can think of that is alarming you but the fear is still there. Within 30 minutes that fear has not gone away and it has increased, that is when I realize I have a bug or lurgy on me and in the past would phone Keith and have it cleared. That is the early effect of a lurgy on you but that is the effect to somebody who knows what is going on and can get help. Before I knew what was going on I had lurgies or a lurgy on me for about six years. Six years of absolute hell. So, what is the difference if you do not know a lurgy is on you and therefore do nothing about it?
It starts with the fear though you may not initially notice that fear, it is more of a feeling something is wrong, and there is some kind of threat. By the next day you are feeling physically unwell and that feeling is more powerful and seemingly threatening so you don’t concentrate or fully appreciate the fear.
As I had so long unwell and had to read books and see various specialists for years I am in a position to explain what goes on with the body and mind through this process. Firstly there is a flight or fight aspect to us. If we suddenly come across an escaped lion we feel afraid and our body immediately changes so that we have the power to fight the lion or run away from it. Our body has physically changed, the heart rate has increased, and adrenaline is pumping so as to give us a short burst of power to try to save our lives. We can not keep up this physical state for long and unless we fight or run the adrenaline does not get used up and that can show itself in ways such as legs and arms going weak, panic attack etc to complete exhaustion depending on how long you try to maintain this state. When the lion is no longer a threat you return to your previous state. There are examples of fear or a thought which can change a person physically and create actual physical symptoms. For example if a mother is waiting in accident and emergency and a doctor comes out of the operating room and tells her that her child has died whilst that was only words not some kind of major attack on her body she clearly has both mental and physically disturbing effects. Another example is animals going to slaughter or for that matter people. They lose control of their bowels and release urine and excrement. In order for that to happen there have been other effects such as changes in the stomach, heart rate etc. The point of this is to show that fear alone or distressing news can cause actual physical changes in the body. They are real, not all in your mind. There is another fact to take into consideration. A person may have a life threatening moment such as a car crash. Let’s assume the person escapes uninjured. That person will have had the “flight or fight” symptoms but a few days later will probably be over it. A soldier in a war has this experience many times and in addition becomes more alert, more ready to “fight or flight. There is a trigger in the body which makes us act in defence. That soldier’s trigger will be at a higher level because he or she has had so many life threatening experiences.
Now in the case of the soldier, the mother being told her child had died and the lion we faced they are not real. But you could see the lion and run away and the fear and all of the symptoms would eventually go away. But when you have a lurgy on you, you can not see it and you can not run away from it so it is the worst fear of all because you can not escape it. The theory is that in addition to the fear a lurgy causes, it also physically drains you, which may well be the case. However it does not matter if it does drain you or not. If you are in that state of fear all of the time the physical flight or fight symptoms are in constant operation so you will become physically unwell. These physical symptoms will be in the forefront of a doctor’s mind rather than the fear when looking for the cause of the illness. Any fear shown such as panic attacks may lead the doctor to think you have anxiety problems and therefore it is all in the mind.
In the face of ongoing fear, side effects may include loss of ability to drive, go outside, engage in conversations etc. If panic attacks start it is usual to think why did I have a panic attack now, what caused this and you think of what has just occurred.
What actually happens is we have a trigger inside us to save our life in times of danger. Lets put that on an imaginary scale of 1—10 with an ordinary individual with no life threatening problems or having had any for years at level 1 and a battle hardened soldier at level 8, ready to art instantly on any perceived threat. Now consider the individual suffering with a lurgy who is anxious or more probably scared to death. That level we could say is level 5 on Monday. On Tuesday the person thinks that Thursday is going to be a bad day, trying to drive the car to take the children to school. Dwelling on that pushes the level up to level 6 state of readiness. On Wednesday the person feels physically bad, worse than normal and is sure something is very wrong. That pushes the level up to 7. Thursday arrives, that dread foil day and now level 8 state of readiness. Friday, it’s been a long week and another heath issue and more fear—level 9 and then something relatively minor occurs and a panic attack starts. How could such a small thing cause a panic attack? It didn’t, it was the accumulation of events which caused it i.e. the final straw. That is why you can not work out what particular event triggered it. When you are tired which with lurgies on you will probably be the case, the trigger is more difficult to hold and control.
When living in this state for a long time physical health issue will pile on top of other physical health issues. For example if the fear is causing stomach problems such as bloating then instead of digesting food, you ferment it. That means you can put as much food in as you like but without the digestion you are not getting the benefits of the food so weight loss and other symptoms will occur. So physical illness will be real just from the
fear alone. If during the week of increasing the level of alert there had been some opposite things such as a nice day out, nice company, relaxing meditation or massage that alert level will have started to go down.
There were times when I could not stand because the fear was so great and I was by then physically drained and unwell. The fear was the worst and there was no escape. Waking at 5.0 am and being absolutely terrified for hours and hours and hours. Week after week, month after month of illness and fear. It becomes too much and you no longer know if what you feel is real or if you are making it up. Everything becomes impossible to face.
In this case removal of the lurgy is the answer but it will then take time to repair some of the damage. You should sense immediately there has been an improvement, a load taken from you after removal of the lurgie. However you will still have to recover your health. Energy work such as tai chi is ideal for this but being in the Dnet will provide some energy to get you going and give protection from further lurgy attacks.
I have not gone into detail of how bad I was or how close I came to losing my mind but I can say I would not
wish it on anyone for whatever reason.